Throughout our lifetimes we will encounter thousands of people. Some of these people will become our best friends, soul mates and life partners, others nothing more than a kind stranger that inspired a thought. Be it our teachers, fellow students, flatmates, travel buddies, baristas, fellow commuters, hairdressers, preachers, bosses; the people we encounter will offer us words and experiences that will help shape us in a myriad of ways.

Consider your friendship circle. Some of us adore being surrounded by large groups of people, not all similarly as close, but all of whom would comfortably be referred to as a mate. There are also those who are more than happy to count their friendships on one hand, opting for a close knit and more intense style of friendship group. Then there is a third group, those who fall somewhere in between, quite close to 1 or 2 friends while maintaining that large extended chosen-family. However you choose to structure your friendships, one universal rule remains relevant – that is to ensure quality friendships are nurtured and toxic ones are purged.


Photo by saaam.

It's important to choose friendships, rather than merely allowing them to prosper out of convenience. Our friends are so influential and we need to ensure that the relationships are predominantly positive, affirming, inspiring and healthy.

If you feel that a friend has been acting out or has callously hurt you on numerous occasions, the most important question to ask when considering their spot in your social network is:

Is their negative behaviour out of character?

If it is, it's time for some one on one time to try and nut out the problem. Chances are your mate is really needing a friend right now. However, approaching a friend to chat about out of character behaviour should be done with care - your friend may not have realised they were acting any different to usual and may feel offended if you boisterously accuse them of doing so.

Try spending some time speaking about how they've been recently, chat about their work, studies, partner, other friends or any family to attempt to uncover any issues that may be impairing their usually fabulous demeanor.

However, if someone in your life is consistently dragging you down and bringing negativity into your life and unwilling to relent in this type of behaviour – the best step is to acknowledge that while the friendship may once have been something amazing and complimentary, it is no longer so, and it is consequently time to farewell the toxic friendship. You owe it to your self to pursue only relationships that are mutually healthy and rewarding.


Photo by CakeFace Originals.

Not all relationships are meant to last forever, but from each relationship we will gain insight and wisdom important to propelling us closer towards being our best self. Part of being the best person you can be is about surrounding yourself with the best people for you. So take the time to consider your friendships, have the important conversations and make the tough decisions.

We are the sum of our experiences, good and bad, and our friends are key players in our script, that is why we must take stock of who we keep close to us.


Have you ever had to work through a tough time with a mate? What about culling someone from your life all together? How did you manage?