The title just about says it all, it's concise for sure, but if it were so simple to understand there wouldn't be entire books & movies dedicated to the topic. If love is blind, then lust makes us blind. Lust & love. Not one and the same. Sometimes, in a wave of lustful haze that often accompanies the meeting of a seemingly fabulous potential significant other, we fail to see what is blaringly obvious and need to be told several times over, what we already know deep down - that he's just not that into us, but let's not go feeling too sorry for ourselves girls, let's step out of that cloud of lust & false blissful blur, we weren't that into him either, were we? (which does not at all detract from the awful fun it was while it lasted!)

Let's break it down a little further:

So you're having issues with your kinda-sorta-almost-lover-it’s-a-little-complicated-more-than-a-friend-but-less-than-a-partner: he wants to keep things casual - he see's you as more of a friend with the occasional benefit or maybe he is yanking your chain just a little more than he should do, flirting relentlessly without follow through, and you, you want him to step up and start introducing you as his girlfriend, not just his friend.

What it doesn't mean
That you are worthless and incapable of being loved by anyone and so will end up miserable and alone with only cats for company.

What it does means
That you should totally & utterly, absolutely, well & truly get over the girly subtext accompanying each & every relationship you enter into.

Women, we are fabulous creatures, but we think about everything far too much - to the extent that we sometimes forget we are allowed to have fun without thinking a novel of thoughts on the prospective 'relationship' we are encountering. Over thinking can ruin what would otherwise have become some of the most fabulous encounters of your lifetime.

Perhaps the greatest point of reference is to look to the Sex girls, no better words have spoken on this much argued point of interest.

SAMANTHA: Look, you're a successful saleswoman in this city. You have two choices: you can bang your head against the wall and try and find a relationship or you can say SCREW 'EM, and just go out and have sex like a man.

CARRIE: So you think it's really possible to pull off this whole women having sex like men thing?


Where to next

Stop sweating the small stuff. Stop asking yourself why you weren't good enough or why you weren't girlfriend material. Because neither of these things matter - you are good enough & you are totally girlfriend material - just not HIS. This is not a bad thing. You'll realise this soon enough.

Delete the cutesy texts and emails that kind of almost just about allude to something more coming of your current dalliance. Move on & do it sharp, maintain the mate - cut the benefits.

Remember, the greatest job offers come unexpected, the most exhilarating part of your travels are unforeseen and so too, the greatest relationships are born out of unanticipated circumstances - stop looking for Mr or Ms Right, start living for you, go with the flow & simplify!


Achievable? Abso- fuckin'-lutely.