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Originally uploaded by treslola

We've all had days or weeks where the most attractive option seems to be that of staying in, wrapped in a doona, wallowing in our own self loathing - so how and when should we be snapping out of our pity party for one? Well, with enthusiasm & pizazz... and now's good.

The first step is identifying why you're feeling down. It could be entirely obvious, like a break up, an unsuccessful job interview, arguments with your family or friends. Or it might not be... is it that you are experiencing a general feeling of depression or that your feelings are part of a bigger problem that cupcakes in the park simply won't solve? If it is the latter, then it is time to start taking yourself seriously. Depression is painful and frustrating but fortunately there are ways to move past it - so if you are feeling down constantly or for reasons that you simply can not pin point, or if you find yourself gleeful one moment, only to be in the depths of despair a moment later - then haul yourself over for a chat with someone you trust or better yet, go see your GP. It is a huge step towards a better life and one you should be very proud of making - depression is not something to be embarrassed about - it is a problem that goes unrecognised for far too many young people & with only one life to make fabulous, there is no time to waste feeling down.

Once you've identified the things that are causing you to be less then your usual fabulous self you can decide upon a solution. The greatest thing about being discontent if life is the realisation that there are so many exciting ways forward and that the only way is up!


Chicken Soup For The Soul
Just as important as formulating long term plans and crafting exciting ambitions. You need to get your heart pumping and start feeling positive. Oprah recently said something that really struck a chord in regards to this striving to feel good, "Your feelings ... that's your soul talking". How wonderfully simple & true! Here are some quick and simple ways to start fixing those feelings that are reflections of your discontent soul - so that you can then start moving towards a more positive outlook:

Get creative: relieve yourself of negativity by placing your focus on doing something creative, rather than wallowing over the same depressing thoughts over and over. Whether your forte is baking, making jewellery, scrapbooking, webdesign, creating movies, singing, dancing, redecorating your home, writing poetry or prose - you are limited only by your imagination. So start now & put all your energies into creating something beautiful, amazing & unique.

Get your feelings out. Write them down or make a video. You need not share your feelings but simply getting them onto paper & out of your mind is a good way of telling yourself that your feelings have been acknowledged and that there is no need to continue to dwell. But writing them down you can also reflect back upon them and realise that you do not want to go down this road again - that you want to do better for yourself by being happy & positive.

Go for a walk. Even better if it's in the sunshine. Physical activity gets your heart pumping & makes you feel good. Enjoy the beauty that is the world. The trees, grass and sky. Discover a part of your neighbourhood you don't often see. Enjoy a sunset and contemplate the bigger picture.

Eat Chocolate. It's been proven that, in moderation, dark chocolate is actually good for us! Enjoy a few blocks of a really great quality dark chocolate... or a few truffles. It's a treat to yourself and one you need not feel any guilt over!

Make new friends. The most common piece of advice people give as to how to make friends is to join a club. Now, as a 20 something female who isn't too into sports or knitting or religious, what sort of club is it that we should be joining? GREAT question. Clubs are overrated (just TL's humble opinion). Classes on the other hand.... why not try yoga or pilates if you need a calming influence, a cooking class can be fun, salsa lessons tend to be rather popular... but if these are still not quite your cup of tea there is always getting a new job, some flatmates, volunteering or jumping online (online communities can be a wealth of super fabulous people & remember the old saying strangers are just friends you've yet to meet!).


Big Picture: Decisiveness
"The ability to make a decision is the force field that allows you to move forward in your life" Oprah

We get into ruts and moods of self loathing for any number of reasons but the solution to moving into a state of greater contentedness & appreciation for our own lives lies in decisiveness. Put simply: No matter how big or small your problems are, the only way to move past them is to make the decision to do so. Common sense, but as the saying goes, it is easier said than done.

One way that is pivotal in the process of moving towards what you want is in making it a real option for yourself. Realise that this life is the only one you get and despite what anyone may have ever told you- the world truly is your oyster and you can be whoever you want to be & do whatever you want to do. You are only limited by the barriers that you put up for yourself. The most successful people in the world are so because they believe in themselves and have pushed for what they want - you would be hard pressed to find someone truly successful that just had that success fall into their lap.

So make a plan. Write down what it is you want. It may be anything: Be happy single. Go to college to study literature. Live in a big city/move to the country. Make new friends. Find a style that feels like my own. Travel to Samoa. Learn how to salsa. Open a boutique & sell your own designs. Learn to be a barista.

Once you have decided what you want you can start looking at all the ways you can achieve this goal.

Do you need training? If so, are there specialist colleges or classes, can you get funding for your course & start today or will you need to save up, are there scholarships available.

Do you need on the job experience? Start writing letters & sending out your portfolio - dazzle people with your enthusiasm, roll with the punches & don't lose hope.

Do you need a business plan? Research others in your industry, speak to people, think about all the situations you need to cover, use the internet to learn more.

Do you need to save you pennies? Get a job, part time or otherwise, start drawing a plan for your goal (be it travel or college), write yourself a budget & stick to it!

Will all this plotting and planning to occupy your mind, before you know it you will be so preoccupied with moving towards something new & exciting that your pity party will be long over! And sure, things will get tough and sometimes the answer will seem only to lie at the bottom of several mugs of hot chocolate (and there is not a thing wrong with that for a quick fix). But remember to be strong and decisive & go get what you want. Most importantly realise that your wildest dreams & most ambitious goals are nothing short of what you what you truly deserve.

What do you want? What is your pity party quick fix?